I wish I could Love You

Saturday, January 30, 2010

azhar jia hoe, started UNI.
one of the M's, going far far away.
the other 3 will be around.
but when will it be when all of us will be together again?
will I have the time to spend?

they went home.

everything seems so quiet now.

the extra brother that lived in my house while the real one was away.

went home too.

no one to disturb.

no one to swear at.

no one to stay up late with.

no one to tell me stories.

no one to syok sendiri with.

no one to make random fruit blends with in the middle of the night.

no one to drive me around.

no one to complain to.

seems so sad that they're gone.
haha. must be the overwhelming company they provided me with.
thank you all.
I'LL BE IN M E L A K A SOON! :)

its called COURTESY to reply messages.

for those of you who don't know.

unless,

you're planning on talking to that person online.

if not,

reply godamnit.
sho da fuzzle annoying.

& if it takes a whole life to heal that wound,

bring on the pain.

Jamie Lee
20:40

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

yesterday, had dinner with the M's, loo and tan together with my sis. had a really really awesome night with a few awesome vroom vrooms and weird weird jokes. :)

I rode!

kelisa sports. xD

takde la. mini cooper s.

shu yan - loke - hearn - JAM. :)

ate at the MAGIC wok.

alot of food that could've been used to feed the Haiti victims,

were sadly, wasted.

3 down syndrome kids thought they saw a UFO land.

apparently, not.

the peeps, minus sim and my sis. :)

had to send my sis back earlier because she had SCHOOL.

after that, the ride, was definitely HISTORY.

crazy crazy rides,

not safe for kids. :S

thank you all, for being able to make it that night.

The tan dropped by for I-dont-know-what reason after dropping me and hearn.

had a LONG LONG talk of alot alot of things.

haha. its good to have the old times back.

surprisingly his MOM called.

he left at 130 a.m . my visions were getting really really weird.

haha. everytime i looked at someone, my eyes auto focused and zoom.

haha. freaking, ass, weird. :)

& all the way to KL, hope you guys had a good time.

& please, don't let me break into pieces again.

Jamie Lee
21:22

Saturday, January 23, 2010

I've been MIA-ing for quite some time, not because I'm busy. but because im too FREE. till I stone at home. STONE. practically waking up at 12+pm everyday and walk around the house as a daily exercise. :S

but I noted down some stuff I wanted to write. :) yes, i carry a little notebook everywhere I go, or to be more exact, I carry a little notebook when I'm around the house. xD

18th January 2010 .

I bet everyone has dreams. even I do. now here comes the almighty question , are your dreams just bullshit??

no offence.

first off, I think people should state CLEARLY what their dreams are under, what I mean is, LABEL them.

there are 2 categories for DREAMS.

1. BULLshit 2. SERIOUS shit.

I know you know what I mean.

there are the I wana marry ( put celeb name here ) , or I wana be King! queen!! or I wanna invent to TIME MACHINE. yeah . label that under bullshit shall we?

and for those who are clear of where they're living IN which is REALITY of which some of you may not have heard, congratulations, you don't have bullshit dreams. yeah. I sound like an emo bitch. I'd rather refer it to " THE UGLY TRUTH". xD . sometimes u just gotta live with facts that are better KNOWN. Watching too much korean, japanese, taiwan, hongkong dramas can really influence ones thoughts. I mean, its not a bad thing to dream big, but know your limits.

know when to give up.
know when to realize that its just a DREAM, nothing more.
know when to stop dreaming.
know your limits.

TODAY! was a little MORE exciting than I thought it would be...

was stoning in MPH for QUITE some time. it was so quiet and peaceful there. I read a book. not the whole thing. just 48 pages. xD I saw 2 kids laughing and screaming chasing this COIN. it rekindled memories of me and my brother, laughing and screaming and playing with each other, and it never lasted for more than 5 minutes. we'll end up figh- , hold that thought. the two kids that were laughing and screaming, ended up fighting. PHYSICALLY. -.- . to tell u the truth, I only deal with kids that have BLOOD RELATION to me. so I just stoned and prayed hard they wont start wrestling each other, :S

at a party, i overheard kids wanting to play doctor. what a shocker i tell you. at the age of 5 , you say play doctor, u literally MEAN doctor. but when You're 18, hearing the same thing again, its kinda different. * dayum, should've recorded it down!! xD

CORNS ARE A PAIN IN THE ASS! sigh. I refuse to have it OPERATED. sounds so, serious and scary!! :( corns been CORNY these few days, hurting my feet, making it hard for me to move around. sigh. juen sern said to have it OPERATED, if not soon i'll have my leg AMPUTATED. exactly the same thing as what my DAD said, they're awesome in rhyming no?

shall we have a game of cards? :)

Mahjong is the new black. XD

right?

& i just wish I could reach out to hold you whenever you're in pain.

Jamie Lee
22:29

Monday, January 18, 2010

WATTAFAK WAS I THINKING.

i'd rather you NOT say it.
asked something stupid and you get something stupid in return.

there she stood in the middle of her room.

thinking what went wrong.

pieces of her heart,

that she thought was becoming whole again,

shattered into bits.

again.

what hope did she have in him?

there she was,

trying to mend his heart,

while he was shattering hers.

what a waste of time.

& tellmeyourwish.

Jamie Lee
01:59

Mike Chadway said:

A woman says no, but it doesn't really mean no.

whotf's mike chadway?

watch the ugly truth.:)

distance don't matter to us.

& Love should be spelled as LUVI,

where there's U and I. :)

Jamie Lee
00:07

Sunday, January 17, 2010

i am up at 3 a.m.
thinking things over.
everything seems peaceful now,
but I don't feel good at all.

I feel parted,
with everyone.
especially those close to me.
those that mean alot more than friends to me.
those that played a bigger role in my life.

I feel pissed,
that I'm actually having selfish thoughts.
of wanting to control his life.
that there's nothing I can do if a decision is reached.
that I'm still able to laugh,
when he's in so much pain.

what does life mean to me now?

everything seems to be falling apart behind me,

while I'm upfront picking the pieces.

I'm starting to feel the emptiness.

but what can I fill it with?

The mere touch of the wind made my heart stir again

The way you laughed–just a distant memory

I once saw in your eyes myself gazing back

If only I still had the chance

I’d tell you all I long to say
And if by chance you know I’d

Never meant to turn you away

Would you decide to come back to me?

And if you think it is not too much to ask

Think about me just from time to time

just someting random.xD

there's just so many things I want to say to them.

but I haven't got the time to.

I haven't even thought of how I was going to say it.

but i want to.

because they mean alot to me.

because I don't want them to forget me.

because I know I'll miss them to bits.

and because

i love them.

& there's just too many goodbyes.

Jamie Lee
02:54

Friday, January 15, 2010

today, is tuesday. xD okay. i know i said TUESDAY and today happens to be FRIDAY.

gags*

been bumming around editing pictures and getting myself updated with latest songs.and yeah. you're bored of this shit already right?

BALLS OF STEEL!!!

You see a man walk pass and hear *kling kling kling*

it MIGHT be his car keys,
maybe his house keys.

or coins in the pocket.

but hey!

you'll never know if he has fake balls.
:S
creepy much?

been reading the news, alot alot of nabeh news on the papers. i'm starting to feel that they shouldn't call newspaper newspaper anymore.

girls whacking each other up for a GUY, students bashing teacher up, peeping toms in swimming centers, Girl gets raped by friend from FRIENDSTER. -.- whats next? girl from friendster whacks teacher up for a guy in a swimming center??

or maybe not

HOWS KUANTAN? :)

okay. now here's the joke.

me, lip yong, zyu, juen sern were at the beach at night. and we burried js feet. then decided to take a group photo.

we approached this malay lady. and asked if she could help us take a group P. told her take head to toe (muka to kaki) . and... this was what we got.

............

....

.....

...........

................

...............................

AWESOME RIGHT?

& when love blindfolds you.

Jamie Lee
16:51

Monday, January 11, 2010

IN KUANTAN. will be back to dominate ur life on tuesday. :)

love me,
love me not.

& when jealousy strikes,
there's no telling when it'll stop.

Jamie Lee
03:28

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

TO AN AWESOME FRIEND.

the first guy who offered a ride.

the first guy that knew where I lived.

the first person whom I stayed in his house during a holiday trip.

the first person that drove me to a clinic when I was half dead.

the first person to talk about muscles 5 days a week.

the first person that put a smile on my face when his was DULL. xD

not many first persons.

but he's still my top 5! :)

to AZhar. O.

the first few weeks of ausmat

we hardly knew each other,

but we had lunches and everything.

I never knew I could actually GET ALONG with him.

he was so mysterious, so secretive,

and never talked about his life.

all he ever talked about was protein, muscles, gym, exercise, healthy.

all he did was the healthy talk.

telling people about healthy food, exercise, that we should head to the gym some time.

but slowly, things started to change.

he became a FRIEND.

that would sit down with you and have serious talks.

not about health.

not about muscles.

about life.

sometimes I felt like i was his STRESSBALL. XD

we had a trip to penang together with some peeps. :)

had an awesome time together.

soon,

he became my applics buddy.

sat with him almost every class.

we listen to teacher, but we don't know what she's trying to tell us.

stare and stone.

just stare and stone. :)

miss su *chokes chokes. chen.

puik. she's mean.

*azie looks epic in this photo.

he was the one guy that drove me around more often then everyone else.

giving my free rides.

he was also,

my gossip partner.

he doesnt really respond,

thats the whole point.

I don't want him to.

all he needs to do is support my statements.

heehee.

there were more and more outings that I'd go only if he'd go.

and sometimes,

i just wanna drag him along.

thank you Mr. muscles.

for being there when I need you to be.

for driving me around most of the time.

for never ditching me.

for sharing your life stories with me.

for putting trust in me.

for being honest with me.

of mamak, deep thoughts, superbikes ,gyms, muscles, gay-ness,

chicks & hot dudes , beers, DUCATIs, suzuki's, protein,applic-haha's,miss suzanna's,secrets,

love, heartbreaks, POOL and life.

I LOVE YOU AZIE! :)

you have been awesome!!
many years of friendship to come love.
appreciate life! ROCK HARD! :D

NEXT ON THE LIST :

KP Lim & Tan Jia Hoe

& let the sorrow break my heart.
reminiscence of the non-existent love.

Jamie Lee
22:03

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

TO AN AWESOME FRIEND.

the first person I met in applics class.

the first person I hanged out with in the library.

the first person I actually gotten along with really well.

the first person that had my secrets safe under his thick skull. (:

the first person that I asked number from. xD

the first GUY that sat with me in applics class.

the first person that I felt comfortable tellling everything to.

the last person I'd wanna say goodbye to.

to THE yeoh.

juen sern.

the jackass that can never live a day without conning me.

like how he said he was in the hospital and had to remove his leg.

i SORTA believed coz after that he asked me if i wanted to see the picture of his black leg.

so i called.

then he said his GIRLFRIEND was in the hospital.

wtf right?

then only i realized,

that retarded phone of his, can send mms?

got conned.again.

he is an asshole.

but without him, I wouldn't have SURVIVED ausmat.

all the stress, all the drama, all the problems.

thank you.

for slowly driving the craziness away,

and replacing it with your retardedness.

he has been the ear that has listened to never ending complaints.

dissings, and secrets.

there are times where he worsens the situations,

but in the end.

its like a lesson learnt to me.

there may have been pain,

but it didn't kill me.

somehow,

i called him my guardian angel for a reason.

he's as retarded as he looks.

he's been the shoulder to lean on everytime I need one.

and sometimes,

he's like my stress ball.
and when I say he's always there when i need him,he IS.

even when im in ipoh.

he still manages time to meet me wherever i am.

or maybe is on the way la.

whatever it is.thank you nice eyebrowed dude. HAHA!.
*mommy gave him that name. xD

as much i Loathe you,

i love you!

in a friend way. HAHA

I wish words could describe how grateful I am.

but seriously,

STOP CONNING ME LAR!!

xD

I still like imitating the way he walks.

he keeps denying it.

one day,

imma record it. :)

I'll be seeing his face for the next 3 years and myabe 4.
THANK YOU.
for being that awesomely reliable friend I always needed.
for being so trustworthy.

for not being secretive with me.

for sharing your retarded problems.

must've been hard for you during rehab right?

:D

LOVE YOU BEECH! :)

NEXT ON THE LIST :

M. AZHAR

& when they start telling you secrets,

they trust you,

thats just how friendships are built.

Jamie Lee
22:12

To an awesome friend.

the first person I hanged out with in Ausmat.
the first person that drove me to college.
the first person I knew that ate lollipop for lunch.
the first person I knew that hardly gives a shit.
the first person that laughs at SAD THINGS.

the first person,
to ever be the longest lasting friend.
the first person that NEVER kept any secrets from me.

to Miss Loo * and her stoner face*.
there may have been some flaws and imperfection,
but that what makes you, you.
I hardly see you pissed,
or sad, or annoyed, or emo.
maybe all your expressions are mixed as one.
happy.
bubbly.
but NEVER optimistic.

Second from right.

the LOO i met 8 months ago
the loo before and the loo after.
still sama je laa.
no change weih.

I still remember her losing her phone in the bookshop where there's surveillance camera. but she refused to find out who took it.
xD
instead, she bought a new one.
the more I knew her, the more I realized,
how retarded she was.

just like me.

funny how friendship could grow so fast.
we could talk for HOURS and not get bored with each other.
we've done many retarded things together.
like the Monash lift.
teet.
teeeet.
teeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet.
teet.
xD

we've been on awesome trips together,
and more to come.
YOU ARE AWESOME loo.
haha.
somehow, you're always there when I need you.
although sometimes you don't reply messages.
-.-
most of the time, you just don't know where you hid ur phone.
xD

the lunches we had almost everyday together,
the dissing of lecturers, people, friends! xD
poor kenny shak.
heeheee.
the most reliable companion.
yum cha la, shopping la, lepak la, lunch la, law pan mee la.
just a phone call away.
like some delivery service.

just that its better.xD

all I'm trying to say is.
you have been an awesome friend.
there are times where I bad-mouthed you,
not knowing that one day I just might regret it.
I'm one with lack of patience,
lack of understanding.
but I am slowly learning.
how to appreciate a friend like you.
:)

as much as I love complaining life.
you LOVE listening to it.
its nice to have an extra ear and mouth.

I LOVE YOU DEAR! :)
please have an awesome life ahead of you. :)
study hard.
play smart.
love wise.
spend intelligently. xD

MY FIRST TIME IN PAVILLION yesterday!!!! impressed lerh? xD first time in starhill gallery.
first time in puduraya 7-eleven. xD together with the melaka gang. i love you all! :D come KL again soon.

had an awesome day yesterday, a really really awesome one.

next on the list :
yeoh Juen sern.

& if you never fall, who's gonna be the one to pick you up?

Jamie Lee
00:01

Saturday, January 2, 2010

The beginning of ausmat

I started off with a very small group of friends.

umah, danisha, juen sern, sher-rin, Nura.

and then,

it expanded.

nancy, zyu zyu, christina, & I

i met nancy through psycho.

a subject wihch I didn't take.

most of you already know, she sings.

not gonna do anymore Intro's. I already did last time.

for some of them . xD

anyway, Ausmat, I must say,

is full of shit.

its fun, fun when you're not in class.

fun when you're not paying attention,

fun when all you do is talk during lessons.

fun when the lecturers are pissed.

fun when we diss about some of the lecturers.

fun when we don't give a shit.

fun when the people you meet, are AWESOME.

me, CHIAH, teen, myee.

2 on the right is from old school.

xD , I've known myee for like 4 years i think.

since form 2.

teen since form 3.

through MSSD. :)

the first few weeks it was just the usual gang.

kp, jordan, azie, Jia hoe, CHIAH, teen, myee, loo, nura, yi wei, mike.

for the arts.

then for the science,

it was

atie, deenz, ash, al, nish, juen sern.

we had our lunches together,

ALL the time.

had gossips,

emo talks,

and our laughs.

Chai, Mike, Amelia.

I even got to know MUFY students.

Amelia,

the bubbly MUFY student.

that was always undercover as yi wei's urhm.. sister? xD

the loo, atie, al & I

we had our shopping moments.

where Al usually sit and watch.

and critic. xD

thats how we bonded.

thats how we role.

NAVIN.

the curly haired dude.

so curly people stuffed PEN into his hair.

he fights, PHYSICALLY.

apparently he thinks I'm always kidding about

stuffing alat-alat besar into his ass.

sigh.

had multiple outings with the science-ed people.

they have this UNIQUE way of entertain themselves.

insulting someone else.

apparently it makes their day brighter.

having someone or something to laugh at.

which doesn't bother me AT ALL.

or so i say. :)

had weird candid moments where ppl try to get the BEST shot of you.

the bEST i tell you.

had ALOT of pool sessions.

with Boo.

with juen sern,

with KP, azie & jia hoe.

mostly with Al,

also with atie and ash.

and also KUNA!

and as our friendship grew,

we had more and more outing together.

more and more pictures taken together.

more and more private talks.

more and more awesome time together.

together with Al, we supposingly form the SPICE girls. xD

then came nisha,

whom gets super retarded after shisha.

haha.

she laughs at anything.

i bet she's denying it RIGHT Now. xD

as smart as arts students can get,

we once stuffed 11 person into a 7 seater.

for the sake of BANANA leaf.

the dudes had their dress up moments,

where anand & martin was in a dress,

lip yong in a skirt.

kean weng....

lab coat and a leaf. xD

kay kay! azie & I

parties after parties.

we had our laughs.

leon.

most probably one of the most retarded chindians i've ever met.

thank you.

thanks to your awesome birthday party.

i met even more awesome people.

Shak and the dustbin. :)

zi hang & mike.

2 of my favourite hang out peeps. :)

assignments after assignments,

presentations after presentations.

who wouldn't get stressed??

dei, chillax with some pool la. xD

that big pile of stress came and go.

then it stopped.

indicating that it was almost the end.

then came AWARDS night. :)

sieu shean, Al, Deena.

no suprise there.

everyone looked awesome.

EMG.

one of the friendliest people I've met from Jan intake.

heheee.

how'd we meet erik?

zachary ivan J.

i know your full name.

and i INSIST i that it IS your full name.

but you don't know mine.

:(
after 3 years. sigh!

them awesome people.

its really not easy to NOT think of them.

after all we've been through.

beatrice, Chai, Genieveve.

i hope i spelled gen's name correctly.
heehee.

beatrice,

she reminds me of this spoit brat that would just sit home and slumber.

but sadly.

my prediction was so so wrong.

she's a gymnast.

and a nerd.

no joke.

haha

we both love korean dudes.

we both wana learn korean language.

we both wana go korea.

we both wana have kajang satay NOWW!!!

UMAH! HEEHEE.

one of my roti canai buddies.

why roti canai??

Kweng, Lip yong, Juen sern.

I think i've complimented on juen sern too much.

ahah. see how retarded you look.

chiah & teen.

more of them awesome people.

DUSTBIN Darren :D, double D's on ur far left.
hehe. funny how we became friends.
he sat beside a dustbin,
and i just called him dustbin.
then he called me parrot.
xD

WOAH! malaysian and moral studies.
the time where everyone don't give a shit.
but when we start talking about exams,
alah, different story la.
stress.
If i fail,
i mean IF i fail.
shit.
i hope I dont la.

the times where I had to miss,
the fun that you all had while i was in Bali.
I hope you all are treasuring it.
:)
I miss watching people dota during class.
i miss left 4 dead with ming hoe.
haha.
i miss watching sher rin slumber in class.
then getting screwed by leacturer. xD

Teong Guan, Martin, Kheanken, KUNA!

TTG. as named by miss ANNIE-who?
king of prank
and king of acting as zyu wenn. xD
he called me JAM JAM! wtf!!! xD

of people with super weird hair-do's.

Usamah and Om! :)

Of awesome small birthday parties. :)
thank you.
for being there always to make my day.
6 of the top 10 most important people.
yeoh JS, AZhar, LOO, KP, SHAK, JH.
of NON STOP mahjong sessions, and alcohol.

specially dedicated to juen sern. :)

then came the bonding sessions with the MELAKA GANG.
haha. it is impossible to cry when you're with them.

jia hoe, Loo, Hearn, Me, KP.

Sim, Loke, WenKyan, Lao da, Hearn, TJ.

the melaka peeeps.

it is an HONOUR, i tell you,

knowing them.

was an HONOUR.

I can't really describe how awesome you guys are.

I wish I could drive.

i'd visit you all SO often,

you're gonna get so so bored with me.

of coconut shakes and retarded jokes. :)

then there was a Supposingly bday dinner for Boo.

but the flirty boo ( flirts with his MAID, bluudy heellll) wasnt there.xD

told you navin likes PHYSICAL fights.

ah. THE SHAK.

one that will never fail to put a smile of your face.

most probably by FORCING it.

stretching your lips to the side.

kidding.
awesome friend.

awesome driver.

a true gentleman.

omg something funny just came up.

SHAG the SHAK. xD

kidding. shit. im kidding.

xian Jin, me, azie, kp, lily.

Lily,

she eats more than you.

but you're fat.

and she's not. :)

the awesome leader of ausmat.

to me .

ALAH. malas arrange photo dah.

the newly MET. xD

darren ting.
the sarawak-ian,

that has a huge banglo in the jungle maybe? xD

he claims banglo's are CHEAP. xD

mike, JH and the melaka gang. :)

I still remember the time when azhar sang "tong hua"

xD epic.

Al & deens.

syok sendiri-ing.

then we had those weird MSN chats/webcams.

like REAL weird.

soon,

we started pranking people.

with names like

miss vanitha, miss ruma, mr. pathnma, mr Eric.

kobe byrant.obama, bush. jeffery cheah.

and 5 lip yongs. xD

unforgetable.

the peeps behind all this,

was

ttg, lip yong himself, kweng, juen sern, kai siang, and I .

no picture of win nie and kai siang. :S

but you know you're awesome la! :D

and it was..
The END of ausmat.

but the begining of AWESOME friendships. :)

I LOVE YOU !!! :)

ways to make awesome coconut shake.

you must have a coconut.

DO NOT cut open the coconut just yet.

start shaking it, until you see white foam flowing out.

if there is no white foam,
you are encouraged to put some soap.

its for the effects.

pfft.

as if you'll EVER know the secrets to awesome coconut shakes. xD
made coconut shake together with Hearn and debz,

my brother just drink ni. -.-

of no help.

& ausmat was no regret.

i assure you that.

Jamie Lee
22:58