i AM pretty pathetic aren't i?

Dear God,

I can't seem to accept facts that are most likely the truth,
instead, I lie to myself,
thinking I'll feel better tomorrow.
and everything will be solved by tomorrow.
but when it comes to tomorrow, its still the same.
it was still how I left it yesterday.
it was still that un-erased past I left before.
it was still something I remembered clearly in my head.
it was still, there.

Dear God,

Help me forget the pain,
and erase the unpleasant memories.
let me lead a simple life,
with no pain, no lies, nothing to hide.

Dear God,

let me have no time to think of unnecessary things,
and let me move on quickly with life.
without going through any more pain.

Dear God,

Please stop me from complaining and judging people,
because I can't seem to stop.
I'm not a bad person,
yet it just keeps coming to me.

Dear God,

I want to stop missing the people I know I shouldn't be missing.
its not worth my time.
its not worth giving them a space in my head.
i'm spending too much time,
on nothing.

Dear God,

I don't think I'm ready for a simple and normal life yet,
I've been through the uttermost hectic ones,
and I survived.
I think You should throw more challenges at me.
because You know I won't fall.
I'm jamie.
it runs in the blood. :)

Jamie Lee
23:03