I wish I could Love You

Sunday, August 30, 2009

On the first day,
their eyes met.
and that was enough to trigger that love sensation.

On the third day,
there was this little misunderstanding that her friend had caused.
everything ALMOST fell apart.

On the second week,
when she thought it was never gonna fall apart.
it did.

On the start of the second month,
everything became partially back to normal.
she knew everything has changed.
all thx to that jackass.

Till the 3rd month,
she tried to fix everything back.
it was a small & quiet start,
no one knew.
and I guess it helped her.

During the 3rd month,
they talked.
talked,they can't hear each other,
but they could read what they both had in mind.
it felt real.

As the young night pass,
morning comes.
another day has gone.

Its been 5 months now,
Everything hasn't changed.
and she's tired.
tired of trying so hard.
she can't keep up.
but she doesn't know when to stop.
If only he knew.

I guess they say love is blind.
it really is.

"But love is blind, and lovers cannot see
The pretty follies that themselves commit."

Living in your precious memories.
I wish I could Love you.

Jamie Lee
20:19

Friday, August 28, 2009

i had to post this juen sern. i had to.
HAHAHHA.

I talked to myself
I laughed to myself
I smiled to myself.

only juen sern knows the talk to myself part.
because I talked, and ppl walked pass me and i was starring right at them, but they didnt realize, then when I realized no one was paying attention, I stopped. looked at JS. laughed.
yes.
it was hilarious and retarded.
it felt
really. funny. xD

and.
Im .
so.
happy.
today.

& when I'm always wrong about being wrong,
I think I'm right about wrong. xD

Jamie Lee
23:09

Thursday, August 27, 2009

im not going for seafood this sat.
my dad
is so gonna
laugh
his
ass
off
when he hears this.
i had to fly my own kite twice.
apparently thats my new hobby.
funny shit.
and saturday night
i might not have transport back.
not sure.
maybe.
duno yet.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH ALL THIS FUCKING WORDS.

its really pissing the shit out of me.
im on fire.
and I have a bottle of gasoline RIGHT beside me.
pour it bitch.

I feel like IM taking things for granted.
but come to think of it .
im ~~fucking~~ not.
you think you know how it feels.
but you don't.
SEEEEEEERIOUSLY.
sometimes
you just wana chew their heads off.
watching them having the time of their lives.
while you're stressing on what to eat tomorrow.
i mean.
its just an example laaa.
i dont stress on what to eat. i just eat.
the main point is!!
I think I just screwed up my day.
AGAIN.
i have lab assessment/speech writting tmr and look what I'm doing now.
BLOOOOOOOGGGINGGGGG.
as if its gonna get me anywhere.
study la jam.
study!!!
when you're annoyed and fucked up.
NOTHING you read is gonna fit into that small shit hole of yours.

goodnight.
sleep tight.
i hope i get nightmares tonight.
that'll keep me up all night.
to wish on the star so bright.
like wtf?
poet ar? well. i thought i was.
fuck this.

& I'm tired of trying
you never seem to notice.
IWICLY

Jamie Lee
23:12

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

I don't know whether to be happy or sad?
I'm the target.
just shoot.
~~fuck~~= love
I fuck life.

I think, i need to employ a detective or some shit.
suddenly,
there's this barrier between me and some friends.
~~fucking~~ barrier.
how'd that come about? why?
and they say move on.
move on?
without knowing what went wrong?

I must be thinking too much.
or maybe not thinking at all.
sometimes you just hope you're not human,
then you wouldn't know what stress was.
your life would just be.
eat
sleep.
shit.
eat.
shit.
eat shit?
sleep.

ah yess.
thats me.

when you start assuming things,
make sure its right.
wrong assumption leads to misunderstanding.
misunderstanding >>> unhappy friendship
unhappy friendship >>> stress
stress>>> pimples
pimples>>> ugly

Now we don't want that do we?
this is a very inappropriate blog for kids under 18.
right.
i bet there are 6 year olds running around
pointing the finger at ppl.
LIVE WITH IT!

xoxo
you don't have to love me.

Jamie Lee
21:22

Saturday, August 22, 2009

they say " belum cuba belum tau. "
I say " tak cuba tak perlu tau. "
Don't hesitate if you're ready for the truth.
we surf on waves.
not on sea.
If you know what I mean.

there comes a time,
where you just want to know everything.
but you want it to be exactly what YOU think.
you fall apart when it doesn't happen.
you don't want to know the truth,
but you want to know.
what's he really thinking up in that big head of his.
yet you don't think its going to be pleasant.
but still.
being so mysterious and secretive about life.
it urges you to want to know more.
you thought about the consequences.
and maybe the goodness in it.
you want to know,
but you don't want to know.
IS THERE ANY WAY TO STOP THIS!?
once again.
maybe.
maybe not.

Jamie Lee
19:13

Friday, August 21, 2009

im frustrated you see.
disappointed
and stunted.
I can't explain, why? or how? and what happened?
because its just such a long story,
and I just can't tolerate.
thats just me.
I can't be keeping everything inside,
thinking I can digest and remove what had happened.
because it did.
and turning back time,
wouldn't be something I had hoped for.
we face problems,
challenges,
conflicts.
and people wish to turn back time.
why?
don't you think facing problems now would help you in the future?
aren't you strong enough?
you don't WISH for things.
i mean,
you can't.
you can't wish for someone to love you.
you can't wish for money to fall down from the sky.
you can't wish for a hot and perfect boyfriend.
you can't wish for a better life.
when shit happens,
just think of it as LIFE.
Love, Interests, Family, Eat?
yeah. i just made that up.
you can't always be sad because some shit got into your way.
just give it a day or two to clear them up.
EVERYTHING's gotta die.
move on, dear.
its life we're living in,
not crap.
shit happened for the pass few weeks.
I'm getting so sick of it I choose to ignore.
I don't like being sad.
I don't like being around sad people.
because
I can't make them happy.
I can't erase their past so that they could be happy again.
I can't calm them down when they already know they're sad.
and i'm also getting so sick of the word "not sure"
because it really pisses me off.*no offence.
I do say it at times.
but,
not when someones already in dilemma.
imagine someone dying,
and the other asks if they should call for help.
just nice,
the other other person says not sure.
give you a tight slap i tell u.

AH!

see how frustrated I am?
screwing innocent people.
I need.
some time.
to recall whats wrong with me.

Jamie Lee
22:55

I don't want to care anymore.

Jamie Lee
21:17

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

FULAMAK facts

Fact # 1 :

Lip yong . Not as innocent as he looks.
a dude that scores TER 99.5 is actually full of shit.
xD.

FULAMAK Fact #2 :

my friend here Mr. Yeoh,
does what his brains tell him to.
I mean,
thats when he finds his brains la. xD
did the bird that shat on your head take it?
(p.s : stop drinking soya bean, save lives. haha)

FULAMAK fact #3

Anand soosai/tosai/pangsai
just like any ordinary guy,
with a special ability.
TRANSVITE. xD

oh. and he speaks hokkien too.

FULAMAK fact #4 :

Zi hang.
he calls a guy , her, and a girl , him.
get it?
and he speaks english. fluent?
FULAMAK. XD

FULAMAK fact #5

Ms. Loo
sweets, lollipop. chocolate. sweets.
sweets.
sweeets.
sweets.
sweets.
breakfast, lunch and dinner.
sweets.
great way to prepare ourselves for recession.
LOL.

& I wish I could tell you this.
at least before we're further apart.

Jamie Lee
21:56

Sunday, August 16, 2009

I get lost inside your stare,
lost when you're not there.

Everything I had doesn't mean a thing if its without you.

no, thats not true.
if you think he was everything to you.
might as well just die when he leaves you.
In an ocean,
there's more than 1 fish.
whether you're using the RIGHT bait,
to get the RIGHT fish.
:)

& its time.
I've led my heart into this,
and now.
I'm walking right out of it.

Jamie Lee
22:56

Friday, August 14, 2009

i AM pretty pathetic aren't i?

Dear God,

I can't seem to accept facts that are most likely the truth,
instead, I lie to myself,
thinking I'll feel better tomorrow.
and everything will be solved by tomorrow.
but when it comes to tomorrow, its still the same.
it was still how I left it yesterday.
it was still that un-erased past I left before.
it was still something I remembered clearly in my head.
it was still, there.

Dear God,

Help me forget the pain,
and erase the unpleasant memories.
let me lead a simple life,
with no pain, no lies, nothing to hide.

Dear God,

let me have no time to think of unnecessary things,
and let me move on quickly with life.
without going through any more pain.

Dear God,

Please stop me from complaining and judging people,
because I can't seem to stop.
I'm not a bad person,
yet it just keeps coming to me.

Dear God,

I want to stop missing the people I know I shouldn't be missing.
its not worth my time.
its not worth giving them a space in my head.
i'm spending too much time,
on nothing.

Dear God,

I don't think I'm ready for a simple and normal life yet,
I've been through the uttermost hectic ones,
and I survived.
I think You should throw more challenges at me.
because You know I won't fall.
I'm jamie.
it runs in the blood. :)

& I can't lie to myself anymore.

Jamie Lee
23:03

Thursday, August 13, 2009

alah! emo siaol!!
inspirasi dari rumah. :D:D .

I finally realized the advantage of unhealthy people when it comes to using the restroom or in other words. toilet laaa. their pee don't stink. According to the Jam's theory, when you're sick, you drink lots and lots of water, when there's too much water, the excess water will be processed into urea/ PEE/ shi shi/ pang liu/xiao bian, sooooooooooo, its really really diluted, thus, diluted pee, not smelly. :D

and do you know that Toilet bowls are for u to SIT ON?

just a gentle reminder, don't ~~fucking~~ squat on a toilet bowl. its the dumbest move you'll ever want to make. Maybe you think that having your ass in contact with the previous pee-er's ass is disgusting, but what happens AFTER u squat on it? the next person will have
to sit on YOUR disgusting shoe mark.
and get their ass all dirty thanks to some inconsiderate people like you.
besides,
whats the point of calling it a toilet seat when you don't sit on it?

and
if you're not ready.
I suggest you don't scroll down.
I have a picture where this lady Squatted on the toilet bowl.
totally deserved it.
but.
ew.

what MIGHT be running inside her head right now :
OMFG, how'd that happen!?
fml.

yeah. FYL.

see that black thing deep inside her meat?
thats her large intestine.
i know.
wtf right?

nah!
just messing around.
its her tighs.
there's no intestine there. XD

What you SHOULD be learning from this :

I will never squat on toilet bowls ever again!!!

There's this other thing that's been bothering me lately.
God invented humans, given legs, hands, ears, mouth, eyes and stuff.
but somehow.
all those weren't put to use wisely.
almost every other week.
I end up in toilets that are left UNFLUSHED.
remind me again what are your hands for?
Your hands, use it to flush toilets.
your brains, to think!
your eyes, to make sure your shit goes down.
your nose, to smell???
your legs, to step??
okay. it doesnt really make sense now. XD
what I'm trying to say is, no matter how old you are,or how disabled you are, flush the damn toilet. its the most disgusting sight anyone would want to look at
before a hearty meal.
don't hesitate, FLUSH. :)
we don't need to know what you ate for lunch/breakfast/dinner.

& I was left with nothing again.
I'll love you, always do.

Jamie Lee
20:31

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

leaving those shattered pieces behind,
people behind try to pick them up,
and fix it back.

Every night,
she refuses to sleep,
she knows,
that once she drifts away into her sleep,
another day has gone.
time is running out,
for her to fix things.
before she leaves,
she wants to make sure that everything is in place.
she's trying so hard.
and its been so long.
everything is still the same.
will it ever change?
funny how she thought ,
that everything would fall into place with time.
when until now,
she's still at her own pace.
how is she going to catch up?
will he ever notice,
that no matter how hard she tried,
that distance will always be the same between them.
far.
she wish he knew how depressing it was,
that he'll never know how she felt,
how hard she tried,
just to get a small little response.
how much can she take in at a time?
or to be exact
how much more can she take?
she's loosening her grasp,
she feels its time to let go.
there's really no purpose anymore.

as she falls asleep tonight,
one more day has gone.
she's tired.
of waiting.
of trying.
soon,
she'll be falling apart,
having no one to catch her.

& goodnight world,
until we meet again.

Jamie Lee
22:03

its 230 a.m.
suprisingly.
im still wide awake.
suprised by what I saw minutes ago.
I'm stuck with an unsolved question.
its gonna be lingering in my mind for quite some time.
I want to solve it.
But ,
I'm afraid.
that the truth may be too hard to swallow.
digest.
understand.
But,
If I don't.
I'm going to be stuck in suspense again.
you know I hate suspense.
who doesn't?
I just want to know if its time to let go?

& I don't want to fall asleep,
knowing that any second now,
I'd be dreaming of you.

HOMEWORKS AND ASSIGNMENTS.
watch out.
I'm coming RIGHT at you.

Jamie Lee
02:21

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

im starting to feel the distance again.
distance involving more and more people.
I never knew it was gonna exist.
till now.
everyone seems.
far away.

he used to get all stressed up because of her.
all the stories.
his stories,
that now had gotten a happy ending.
to me.
there was no end to it,
he didn't stay long enough to complete his story.
was it suspense?
I was lost.
in the middle of his story.
and I will always be that confused.
I guess he decided that he didn't need any extra friends.
I guess.
he decided to leave the old ones behind.
it wasn't that important was it?
he took the others with him.

thank you.
for being the one to show me how friends could change.
thank you.
for being there when we used to need each other.
thank you.
for being that way.
just plain you.
at least I didn't waste too much time.
thinking what went wrong.

friends.
there's nothing much to understand about.
they take sides,
i can assure you.
whichever side,
that serves cookies. :D

& thats why I'll always need a life long companion.
at least one day,
when he leaves,
I know that he was really there for me.
to love me.
to care for me.
to be,
apart of me.
:)

Jamie Lee
20:25

Sunday, August 9, 2009

watched G.I joe on friday with my coll buddies. :D it was a NORMAL show, i mean. besides the numerous number of hot dudes in the show, there's nothing much to complain about. XD . lee byung hun. * drools. but, nothing beats transformers 2.

btw. channing tatum is married.
daymn.

A perfect getaway

a perfect getaway? well.
thats what they thought.
:D
starring mila jovovich.

It's complicated.

Something the oldies would want to watch. haha. its about. love. marriage. divorce. starring Meryl streep, alec baldwin and steve martin.

Jennifer's Body.

Possessed cheerleader. demons. boys. megan fox. now who'd wana miss THAT? starring,Megan Fox, Amanda Seyfried, Johnny Simmons, Adam Brody and J.K. Simmonds.Familiar names huh? :D

Ninja Assasin.

HOT action packed movie starring Rain, Naomie harris, Rick Yune. Something we ALL want to watch. and I'm sure its 1000 times better than speed racer.

Movie Trailers - Movies Blog

The boys are back.

Inspired by a true story, bout a family man that lost his wife, lives with his two children , creating family love between father and sons. starring Clive owen, george mackay. :)

Couples retreat.

movie bout bonding between couples. :D , starring Vince Vaughn , jason bateman.

Played 2 hours on pool on saturday, and got beaten by jun siew, but beat the rest. lol. yes. it. was.orgasmic. :D . jun siew plays like ash. I need to practice more on white ball placing. really. :D:D

& I can't seem to understand myself anymore.

Jamie Lee
14:30

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

photos from the past few weeks.

guess who?
:)

giant Toosai!

lil miss pinkie( far left ) - just came back from moscow,
studyin medicine.
Kids in white, cousins from UK . :)
i missed out the malaysian one,
he took the picture. :D