she's starting to get phobia's of exam.
she can't seem to understand what went wrong.
she's lost between high school and college.
she just feels there's a lost of connection between herself and studies.
she doesn't seem to know where to start.
she doesn't know who to go to.
she's not planning to admit she's in need of help.
Lots of it.
to make her feel better,
to make her sleep at night,
to avoid shivers down her spine when it comes to results.
she hates it.
least expected.
why didn't she get it right?
what went wrong?
WHY!?
how?
she's still not used to the fact of getting shit grades.
not THAT bad.
just not up to her standard.
not her expectations.
just not, her.
especially when she has smart friends around her.
making everything sound so easy when its so complicated to her.

Her hands are trembling,
the fear of not getting into uni she dreamt of going.
the fear of low grades.
it breaks her heart,
ruins peace in her mind.
she really can't take it anymore.
optimistic,
doesn't quite exist.
if she were to be optimistic,
she'd never be sad.
she can't control herself,
bad thoughts fills up her mind everyday.
there's nothing much left to think about.
except studies.
she's scared.
worried.
insecure.
annoyed.
frustrated.