and then it hit me,
twice in less than a month.
that hollow feeling.
the one where you'd feel so alone,
the thoughts where no one cared kept reappearing.
If you were to concentrate any harder,
it would go away.
but If you tried to avoid,
it'd all come back to you.
I think I'm not making any sense.
i THINK i feel sad.
but I just don't think sad is the right word now.
i feel really .. distracted.
things keep popping into my head when I'm supposed to be concentrating.
I THINK i feel nervous.
I can't stuff anymore knowledge into my head.
even if I read out loud, I can't seem to absorb anything.
i THINK i feel scared.
EE may just be the most important shit in my life,
and if I screwed up,
i Screw up.
i cant fly all the way to Oz and bribe the examiner.
I still love adam lambert more,
that was rather random no?
I just one to say this one thing over and over again.
i just DON"T KNOW LA.
i don't know anything anymore.
I don't really know what friends are anymore.
what are friends?who are they? what are they willing to sacrifice for you?
i suddenly felt so ditched.
like there's no one there.
i get so annoyed when I'm asking someone if they wana hang out,
and they'll go
im not INDIRECTLY shooting people.
but yeah. does it really matter who's going?
its okay if I said WE'RE going bla bla , wana join us? and you ask who's going.
but yeah. screw this.
I better continue with my econs. IF i can.

some random names popped into my head.
Erik. Atie. Al. Sher-rin. Ian. jia Hoe. KP. Azhie.
once again. I don't know why.